Workin' nine to five, what a way to make a livin' ... Barely gettin' by, it's all takin' and no givin'... They just use your mind and they never give you credit ... It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it ...
It goes by many names, “Friday highs and Sunday Scaries? Or “TGIF” OR “Sunday blues” OR “Case of the Mondays” . . .
The essence is the same, a longing for the weekend, the utter freedom to do as you please. Complete autonomy which brings peace.
That Friday feeling is a universal experience.
The workweek is done, the possibilities of the weekend are endless, and a sense of relief and excitement. It’s an euphoric experience we call, the “Friday High.” Anything is possible and you’re unstoppable, maybe it’s plans with friends, colleagues, family, community, or much deserved alone time, whatever you decide, it’s yours.
As the weekend draws to a close, a different feeling often creeps in—a familiar knot of dread, anxiety, and a looming sense of unfinished business. This is the “Sunday Scaries.” Impending doom that soon you’ll return to work and start the whole process over again, the nine to five. what a way to make a livin’…
For many professionals, this becomes a common cycle, the rat race, where the freedom of Friday transitions to dread of Sunday night.
You aren’t alone in trying figure out how to manage these highs and lows so you can fully appreciate the weekend and disconnect from work; and feel refreshed on Monday and ready to take on the weekend with gusto.
Embracing the weekend to the fullest
In passing, we’ve muttered “TGIF”, or “Happy Friday”, a remind that we’ve made it. the “Friday highs” are present at last, though a fleeting feeling, it a crucial mental and emotional break from the constant pressures of work. It’s the reward for your hard work and the psychological signal that it’s time to disconnect.
Fully embracing this feeling is key to a restorative weekend.
Fully disconnecting from work is the key to a restful weekend.
Some of us struggle with fully disconnecting from work, we have those lingering throughs that creep in with reminders that we have something to do, something needs our attention, something if we start on it today, we’ll be ahead for the next week, and these creepy crawlers can deter us from actually experiencing our weekends to the fullest.
BUT we got you covered, here’s how to Maximize your weekend with intentional rest.
True rest is not just the absence of work; it’s an intentional act of recharging your mind, body, and spirit. When we approach our weekend with purpose, we’re more likely to feel refreshed rather than just “spent.”
Here’s an example, it’s the weekend and you feel so tired from the long week that you spend time in front of the tv screen, tablet, phone, and don’t you know it – you’ve been doom scrolling for hours. It hasn’t led you anywhere, but because you’re tired you wanted to rest. I’m guilty of this at least once a month – I love TV watching, and keep falling for this when I’ve had a tough weekend. But, this doesn’t actually help us, it’s not intentional it’s escapism.
Here’s another example, it’s the weekend and you feel so tired from the long week that you spend time sleeping in, getting up slowly, making breakfast, going for a walk, nothing strenuous, just a casual walk, you come back color and journal for an hour or two, focusing on your hobby, clean the home, and start making your family recipe for dinner. These activities engage your mind (coloring, journaling), body (walking, sleeping in), and spirit (reconnecting with your roots by cooking).
For both examples, one became escapism another became intentional. What is the difference? The breaks in between that engaged your mind, body, and spirit. By focusing on these aspects of yourself, you’re giving your full self attention, not just the I’m tired and will watch content for hours. You’re creating moments in international rest space. I’m not saying watching TV or binging on your shows is always escapism, or that escapism is bad. It’s just not as rejuvenating as several activities that support your body, mind, and spirit.
Here are a few things you can start today:
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The joy of spontaneity – Do something random, spontaneous, go on a road trip, a staycation, an escape room, a national park, to a friend’s house, out to a trail, etc. Doing something spontaneous can get us out of the rut and into our discovery and curiosity phase – it engages our mind, creativity, body, and spirit, as you take a left turn when you usually make a right. It starts breaking the patterns we love to create around us. This freedom is what we crave during the structured workweek, so taking a step back and start getting intentional about being spontaneous.
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The value of disconnecting – Another positive change is to start disconnecting from work ASAP. I encourage you to learn how to disconnect 20-30 minutes before the end of the day on Friday. Put away your phone, close your computer, step away from your desk. Start clearing out the clutter. Spend the extra 20-30 minutes at the end of the day to engage with your colleagues about their weekend plans, what they’re looking forward to, what you have planned, etc. building culture, empathy, and stronger relationship with colleagues while unwinding the workweek towards the weekend.
Reducing the Sunday scaries
You know the feeling, it’s the quiet voice telling us we have SOOO much to do, we can’t rest because we’re just too busy, or how we have to “deal with those people” again, etc. sometimes, those thoughts start before Sunday, the more you have these thoughts the more susceptible you are to burnout.
It’s the heavy weight on your chest, the difficulty breathing, the thoughts of dread that drain your energy, and the late night thoughts that keep you from getting good night’s rest, the complexities of the Sunday scaries are more than just a bad mood; they’re a form of anticipatory anxiety. Some feel drained by Saturday and start practicing unhealthy coping mechanisms, some feel it right before going to sleep on Sunday.
What causes this dread?
The anxiety behind Sunday scaries is often rooted in several factors:
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Anticipation of a busy week: You might be thinking about a heavy workload, a difficult meeting, or a tight deadline.
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A sense of unproductivity: You may feel like you didn’t accomplish enough over the weekend, leading to guilt.
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The feeling of being “out of control”: The return to a structured, demanding environment can feel daunting after two days of freedom.
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Lack of work-life balance: If your work week is consistently overwhelming, the weekend becomes a desperate escape rather than a time for genuine rest, making the return to work even more stressful.
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You’re burned out: You’ve been carrying this constant stress for an extended amount of time without any reprieve.
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You’re bored, unchallenged: You’ve become bored at doing the same thing over and over again, and aren’t feeling challenged and you dread going into work to start the rat race again. You may feel stuck in your career.
There’s complexities behind the Sunday scaries, and something we won’t know the root cause until we talk it over or journal about it. Particularly in our digital world, where work is a hands reach away to check our emails, our work calendar, and it can snow ball quickly into opening the laptop and getting just this one thing done, and then another, and another, and so on…
The blurred lines between work-life have serious consequences for our overall professional and personal well-being.
Here’s what you can do about it:
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Plan your workweek: The trick isn’t to have all of your hours accounted for, but rather engaging in time blocking and recognizing your energy cycles (more on Art of Time Management). Don’t plan for 40 hours, plan to work a 4 day work week (32 hours), leave Friday off limits. No business or project meetings on Friday and make it a non-negotiable. This will allow you to end 20-30 minutes early at the end of the day, and give you time to address overflow from the week.
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Rest during the workweek: This is hard for many, but build in rest and reflection time during your workweek, not after work, but in between tasks. Trust me you have more time than you think. Anxiety often reduces our anticipatory time but feeling in the needs to remind us we don’t have time to breathe. It won’t take long, 15 minutes of intentional time here and there throughout the day will keep you in control of your anxiety.
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Journal: On the weekends, when your anxious thoughts come up, document it. Immediately. Letting it out of your head and onto paper can relinquish isn’t control of the spiraling thoughts. Speak it aloud with another person, letting your scary thoughts out of your mind can reduce it’s hold over you.
- Seek external support: Sometimes these thoughts and scary thoughts can be too much for us and it holds us from staying present and enjoying our weekend. Working with a professional (career counselor, coach, therapist) can help ease this transition and reduce your overwhelming anxious thoughts and get you ready to live a more balanced life.
Protecting your energy and weekend
Truth is we will all have weeks when the workweeks bleeds into the weekend. It’s due to projects, pressure, and myriad of other reasons that are beyond our control. When those week/weekends become a normal that is a red flag – having one or two long work weekends might be acceptable per quarter. If you’re experiencing more of these blur between the workweek and weekend, please see about burnout and speak with a career coach/counselor to support your recovery.
Set, confirm, and reaffirm your boundaries
Building skills to protect your energy and your weekend starts with setting boundaries for yourself, with your colleagues, and manager.
In my early career, my manager would assign me something that needed to be done by the start of the next day. I did it a few times, and when I noticed it was becoming too frequent (impedding with my personal life), I had to have a hard conversation. I was nervous, anxious, because I had just started the role a few months ago, and I didn’t want to get on their bad side. I kept my conversation short and solution focused.
“Hi, can we talk about a situation?” – Ask permission
“I noticed I’m getting assignments at the end of the day with a early morning turnaround, and these seem to be last minute and I’m having to work afterworks to complete it. This is impacting my personal life. For example, yesterday I was assigned X but I was with friends for dinner and it was disrupted by these last minute assignment. That is unfair for me and unreasonable for me to continue delivering. Could we set a boundary that I will not be available after 5:30pm?” – Share the situation, the impact, and how it crossed your value, asking to set boundary.
“If that’s not possible, please let me know because we need to find a solution immediately.” – Staying firm
At the end of the 15 minute conversation, I received respect for setting boundaries, and started having a better time not taking work home with me. They also understood that their urgency was not my priority. At times, the boundary would be challenged and I would remind them I’ll work on it the next day and we can talk about priorities in the morning. – Address immediately and reaffirm your boundaries
For many, this is tough to do because we want to impress our supervisors/managers, but at what cost?
When you protect your energy and your weekend, you get to show up to work feeling rejuvenated and you can perform better. That’s exactly what happened, I wasn’t dreading coming into work, I had support for building my life outside of work, and I outperformed at work.
Be intentional about your workweek and weekend
A small amount of planning can make a huge difference.
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Dedicate 30-60 minutes on Friday afternoon to a “Week Reset.” This could include:
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Reviewing your calendar for the upcoming week.
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Making a simple to-do list for Monday-Wednesday.
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Prioritize Monday morning with the hardests task (more on Art of Time management)
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The same goes for your weekends too – start planning your weekends on Wednesday. You’ll have a better idea of how you’ll spend your Friday (remember to plan for 4-day work week), and that overflow/comfort can guide your weekend plans. If it was a tough Friday, focus on how to regain your energy over the weekend. If it was a comfortable Friday maybe you want to challenge yourself a bit over the weekend. Always strive to find balance in your plans.
Prioritize self-care
When I first heard about self-care, I thought it was a selfish activity. I’m here to take care of others, why would I need or want to take care of myself. I thought self-care is a luxury; not a necessity. Self-care isn’t the same as “treat-yourself” when you’re rewarding yourself for something. Self-care is about a habitual practice where you tend to your needs first, so you have more energy and space to support others in their needs.
Focusing back on the body, mind, and spirit – focusing on how you can engage with your body from exercise to massage, your mind from creative projects to crossword puzzles, to your spirit connectedness from friends and community or worship and devotion. Whatever they are for you, focusing on each segment throughout your weekend will aid in your self-care and recovery from the workweek.
Navigating deeper career anxiety
Sometimes the Friday highs and Sunday scaries are an indicator of symptoms of a deeper, ongoing issue. This is where a career counselor and career coach can provide invaluable support.
Investing in your professional development with a career coach means you get to your desired goal faster and with expert guidance. A career coach or counselor offers a structured, objective perspective and can help you:
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Identify the root cause: The Sunday Scaries are often a symptom of underlying issues. A coach can help you pinpoint the exact source of your anxiety. Is it your job itself? Your company culture? A specific manager or colleague? Or is it a feeling of being on the wrong career path entirely?
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Improve time management: A coach can teach you strategies to better manage your workload and set healthy boundaries, both of which are crucial for preventing burnout and reducing anxiety.
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Build resilience: They can equip you with coping mechanisms and mindfulness techniques to better handle stress and manage difficult professional situations.
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Define your career path: If your anxiety stems from a lack of purpose or fulfillment, a coach can help you clarify your professional values, skills, and goals. They can guide you toward a career that is more aligned with who you are, making the return to work something to look forward to, rather than dread.
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Develop communication skills: The inability to set boundaries or communicate needs effectively can lead to overwhelm. A coach can help you practice these difficult conversations, empowering you to advocate for yourself in the workplace.
If your Sunday Scaries are a consistent and overwhelming feeling, reaching out to a professional is a powerful step toward a healthier, happier work-life balance.
Break the dread cycle of Friday highs and Sunday scaries
The cycle of Friday Highs and Sunday Scaries doesn’t have to be your reality. By making small, intentional changes to your weekend routine and addressing the underlying causes of your anxiety, you can reclaim your time off. The goal isn’t to eliminate all stress—that’s an unrealistic expectation—but to manage it in a way that allows you to fully enjoy your life.
Remember, your weekend is a time for rest, rejuvenation, and joy. Treat it as such. And if the anxiety persists, remember that a professional can help you build the skills and perspective needed to create a career and a life you don’t feel the need to escape from every Friday.