You did it!
You had that burst of inspiration—maybe after reading the motivation strategies article or having a great conversation—and you decided to make a change. You were fired up! You were going to learn that new skill, redesign your workday, and finally build a career that aligned with your motivational style.
It was amazing, until life happened. A deadline, you got tired, or triggered, the initial high of the project wore off, and suddenly, those new goals felt less like an exciting adventure and more like another chore on your to-do list. Exhausting. . .
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
This is the Motivation rollercoaster, and almost everyone has a ticket. Untrained motivation feels like a lightning bolt of inspiration that we have to catch in a bottle. But real, lasting change doesn’t work that way. Motivation isn’t magic; it’s a habit. It’s about building small, sustainable systems that carry you forward even on the days you don’t feel inspired. These systems gives us habits and makes it easy for us to make constant change gradually.
If you can, think about when you were learning how to brush your teeth. At first, exciting you get to do something for yourself, modeling your parent, and then it became a choir, and you’d hear from a parent, “go brush your teeth” and you did, begrudgingly, and now as soon as you wake up you need to brush your teeth or else something feels off. That’s the power of building a habit – when you don’t do it, it feels off.
Avoid the willpower trap!
Ever try to will yourself through a project/task or something you really wanted?
How did that go?
You did it… but you were probably exhausted afterwards. That’s because willpower is like a muscle—it gets tired. Relying on it to build new habits is like trying to sprint a marathon without starting with walking a 5k.
You’ll have a great start and a spectacular burnout.
Instead of forcing yourself, you need to make it easier to do the right thing. The secret isn’t more effort; it’s less friction.
Look at the habit you want to build and ask: “How can I make this ridiculously easy to start?“
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Want to learn a new skill? Don’t just “try to remember.” Put the book on your pillow. Keep the tab for the online course open on your browser.
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Want to connect more with colleagues? Put a sticky note on your monitor that says, “Who can I check in with today?”
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Want to take on more leadership? Draft a email template you can use to volunteer for projects, so you don’t have to start from scratch every time.
Make your desired habit the path of least resistance, and you won’t need willpower to get it done.
Preparation is key to avoiding the willpower trap. Start building out your resources before the time comes and you’ll be ready to make the change and start acting towards your desired goal.
There’s a great app called Couch to 5K, that helped me reach my 5K goals, and another app, 5K to 10K, and so on. Break down your goals into smaller bite-sized chunks and start working on it, regularly.
Streamline by habit stacking
I tried learning how to play the guitar, it went well for two weeks maybe a month. Since then I haven’t picked it up – it’s still within eyesight, but I haven’t picked it up in years. Why? I trusted my willpower to get be moving and going, and once I forgot to go to my lesson once, it was easy to cancel the subsequent times.
But, I wanted to learn golf, and it’s working out perfectly. Why? Because I piggybacked on another activity that made golf easier to access.
Trying to invent a new habit out of thin air is tough. You have to remember to do it, find the time, and build the momentum from zero. A much smarter way is to use a technique called “habit stacking.” The idea is simple: you link the new habit you want to build with an old, established habit you already do without thinking.
Golf was easy because I was already going outside for a nice 3 mile walk regularly. All I had to do, was put on my walking shoes and walk to the golf range, when I was there, I picked up the golf club and hit a couple of balls, and . . . Now I golf.
The formula is: After I [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].
Pro tip: this works beautifully when you tailor it to your motivational style.
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For Achievers: “After I check my email in the morning, I will write down my #1 priority for the day.” This links a reactive habit (checking email) to a proactive, goal-oriented one.
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For Connectors: “After I pour my afternoon coffee, I will send a quick ‘thinking of you’ message to a colleague I haven’t talked to this week.” This links a personal routine to a relational goal.
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For Influencers: “After I read an interesting industry article, I will share the key takeaway with my team on Slack.” This links a habit of consumption to a habit of leadership and influence.
Habit stacking automates your new routine by hooking it onto something your brain already does on autopilot.
Make it laughable, and you'll remember
I’ve attempted to publish articles for the past 10 years, I’d start, stop, forget, and resume, start, stop, and delete. This cycle was challenging because my clients needed the support but my writing style was academic papers, which were in the 30+ pages. Those articles would include 5-6 articles in one. It was exhausting to write, edit, and publish. So, it was easier to just not.
Then, I broke it down, and broke it even further, and a bit more. Where you get 2-3 small paragraphs of content, which I will write and you will appreciate because it’s not an academic paper.
We often fail at new habits because we make them too big. “Read for an hour every day” sounds great, but it’s intimidating. When you have a low-energy day, you’ll just skip it.
The solution? The Two-Minute Rule. Whatever your new habit is, scale it down until it takes less than two minutes to do.
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“Read for an hour” becomes “Read one page.”
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“Go to the gym” becomes “Put on my workout clothes.”
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“Overhaul my project management system” becomes “Write down one task on a new list.”
Anyone can read one page or put on their shoes. The point isn’t the two minutes of action; it’s about becoming the kind of person who shows up.
You’re not trying to master the skill in one day. You’re just trying to cast a vote for your new identity as “a person who reads” or “a person who works out.” Once you’ve shown up, you can often keep going. But even if you don’t, you’ve still maintained the habit.
Get an accountability partner
As soon as I saw myself holding the golf club regularly, I invested in a coach. Someone to hold me accountable and teach me how to actually hit the ball more often. Someone that will look out for me and something I can work on my game in private before sharing with my friends or family. Having that secrecy helped me develop my skills without fear of looking like a beginner. Within a month, I started playing golf with my friends and enjoyed my game more because now I had my coach and friends to hold me accountable in building this new skill.
Having an accountability partner might be the most powerful strategy of all.
It’s easy to break promises to ourselves. It’s much harder to break a promise to someone else.
Sharing your goals with someone—a friend, a mentor, a colleague—dramatically increases your chances of success. This person isn’t there to scold you; they’re there to be your cheerleader and your check-in point.
A simple text once a week that says, “Hey, how did that goal of yours go?” can be all the motivation you need to stay on track.
Choose someone who is supportive but will also call you out (gently!) if you’re making excuses.
The simple act of knowing someone else is going to ask you about your progress is a powerful motivator to get it done.
Seeking support
Building new habits and making real, lasting changes is hard work. It’s even harder when you’re trying to do it all by yourself, relying on your own limited willpower and perspective.
A coach is your dedicated, professional accountability partner. Together, we can:
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Break down your big goals into small, manageable habits.
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Troubleshoot why a habit isn’t sticking and redesign your approach.
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Celebrate your progress to keep your momentum high.
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Provide the consistent support and accountability you need to turn inspiration into a permanent part of who you are.
If you’re tired of the start-and-stop cycle and are ready to build a system for success that actually lasts, let’s chat. Book a free call today.
Let’s make your motivation stick, for good.
